I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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