in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
