They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my being single is dangerous.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize