sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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