Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
