Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
