What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So vagazzling was a success
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
