You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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