I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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