I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
