marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
