the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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