I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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