Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
