my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
