I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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