If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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