So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
