I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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