I showed him my bush... on skype.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
