Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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