New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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