No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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