If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
