Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
