This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
