YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
