Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
