JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
