So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize