shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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