so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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