Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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