Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
