these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
