why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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