I wannas sexs uuuuu
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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