: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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