Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
