go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
