doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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