I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
