If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
