My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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