We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
