Hey man sorry I got all grabby
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize