that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
