last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
