I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
