it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
