but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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