he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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