I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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