Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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