I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
