Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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